为了不让孩子早恋,许多中国父母分分钟都能变身名侦探柯南……
最近,河南汝阳县某高中的“防早恋标语”火了。
为了防止学生早恋,学校在电子屏幕上循环播放标语,引发网友热议……
“中学阶段,男女交往,仅限友情;超出友情,浪费感情,害人害己。你有什么能力给TA幸福!你有什么资本为TA承诺!”
其实不止是学校,父母的奇招更多。比如限制零花钱、没收手机、偷看日记…….
知乎上的一个提问的回复就很精彩啊:
以下是Global Times (Metro Shanghai)近期刊登的一篇评论。一位妹子分享了她妈妈阻止她太早谈恋爱的经历。
那么,你的父母对于早恋是什么态度?为了阻止你早恋,他们都用过什么办法?欢迎在评论里留言告诉我们
My overbearing mother ruined childhood puppy love for me
Like many typical Chinese parents, my mom tried hard to prevent me from having romantic relationships in high school and even in college.
跟许多典型的中国家长一样,我妈以前总是想方设法地阻止我上高中或者大学的时候谈恋爱。
"It is unavoidable to meet boys in school, but try not talking with them too much," she has repeated to me ever since I was seven years old.
从我七岁去上学开始,我妈就天天对我耳提面命,让我尽量和学校的男孩子少接触。
Because of my mother's warning, when I first time received a love letter and several small gifts from a classmate in the fifth grade, I immediately returned the letter and the gifts to the boy. I told him I only wanted to focus on studying. The excuse was lame but effective.
因为我妈这种节奏,我五年级的时候第一次收到了一个同学的情书和小礼物后,就毫不犹豫地还给人家了。还跟人家说我只想好好学习。这种借口很搞笑但是又很管用。
Any romantic stories between teenagers served as teaching materials for my mom. They were all negative examples, of course. For instance, a girl in a nearby village failed her entrance examinations to high school because she indulged in puppy love with a boy.
我妈还非常善于利用身边的各种青春期恋情当反面教材。比如说,附近哪个村儿的哪个小姑娘就是因为只顾着早恋,耽误了学习,没考上大学。
Worrying that any romantic relationship would distract me from studying, my mom required me to keep a certain distance from all boys. I was only allowed to hang out with girls. I noticed that many of my female classmates also had domineering, overly concerned mothers.
我妈就很担心谈恋爱会影响我学习,就让我和男孩子保持一定的距离。就算是出去玩,也只能跟女孩子出去。而且我那会儿还发现,班上很多女同学的妈跟我妈一样霸道、想的多。
However, when I was about 17 years old, I started dating a boy in high school. To hide this romantic relationship from my mom, I made up excuses.
但她始终还是没能成功阻止,我17岁上高中的时候,就开始和一个男孩子约会了。找过各种借口出去约会,避免被她发现。
Unfortunately, we were discovered just one month later while chatting on the telephone. My mom overheard everything.
可惜不到一个月还是被抓包了。我俩煲电话粥的时候,被我妈在分机上听到了。
Seeing the anger and disappointment on her face, I felt so depressed and ashamed. But mostly, I was furious about her persistent, high-pressure "no-romance-allowed" policy, not to mention her eavesdropping. What's worse, I did not do well in my school examinations, which only served as further evidence for her to use against my relationship.
看着她一脸愤怒和失望,我也挺压抑的,还觉得有点丢脸,但主要还是受不了她的高压政策,锲而不舍地阻止我谈恋爱。更倒霉的是,我后来考试也考得很差,被她抓住小辫子,成了她教育我的证据。
I decided to break up with that boyfriend, which was just what my mom expected me to do. I didn't really want to let her prove me wrong, but it was a relief to not have any more secrets. She continued to warn me about the evils of sex. In her mind, girls are always the weak ones in a relationship; she feared I would succumb to my boyfriend's pressures for sexual intercourse.
我后来还是决定跟那个男朋友分手了,虽然正中我妈下怀。我实在不想让她证明她是对的,但起码我不需要再整天藏着掖着了。我妈还一直跟我强调发生性关系的坏处。在她的心里,女孩在一段感情里面总是弱势的一方,而且她特别担心我谈恋爱得时候,磨不过男朋友,跟他发生关系。
However, instead of speaking with me directly about sex, she only dropped sly hints, such as "protect yourself well," "some men are very unreliable" and "some men just want to get something from you," meaning my virginity.
但是她又不明说,都是各种暗示我,比如“保护好自己”、“男人很不可靠”或者是“有些男的就是光想着占你便宜”这种。
When I left my hometown for college, I felt free. Nonetheless, my mom kept warning me to be careful of boys who "bear no good intentions." I dated a boy in college without telling my mom, not because I was afraid that she would scold me, but just because I didn't want her to worry about me.
后来我离开家去上大学的时候,就觉得自己自由了。但我妈也没少提醒我小心那些“不怀好意”的男人。所以,大学期间我也谈过男朋友,但是并没有告诉我妈。不过,到了那个时候,我也不会再害怕她会骂我,而是不想让她再担心。
Looking back on my younger self, I now find that, to some extent, my mom was right. Indeed, I did notice that some of my female friends and classmates who were affected by puppy love failed to get into college. A number of them were also tricked into sexual intercourse from the guys who claimed to care about them, and then abandoned them after.
现在想想小时候的自己,我就发现,从某种程度上来说,我妈也没什么错。我身边也的确有女性朋友或者同学因为早恋而没考上大学的。有些人也只是被口是心非的男人哄着,以为是遇到了真爱,结果还是被抛弃了。
My mom's parenting skills could have been more patient and tender, not to mention open and explanatory. However, I can understand that people of her generation - many who missed out on education and career opportunities - want only the best for their children. And I'm sure that, once I become a mother, I will have to face the exact same concerns like my mom.
我妈的教育方式也许能够再耐心、温和、开放和直接一些。但是我也能够明白,在她那个年代,她和很多人一样都没有教育和工作机会,只是单纯为了自己的孩子好。而且,万一我以后当妈了,也得面临和我妈一样的问题。